Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Devotional by Meg Meeker

Author:Meg Meeker
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781621575634
Publisher: Salem Books
Published: 2016-04-06T16:00:00+00:00

Why are relationships so hard? Why do kids bully other kids? Why do some married couples, once crazily in love, divorce? Why do so many of us tell innumerable “white lies”? Why do we often feel, like St. Paul, that “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15 NIV).

Theologians attribute this to “original sin” or “the fall of man,” recorded in Genesis 3 of the Bible, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

We have inherited their original sin in our human nature, which means we often fall prey to temptation. Too often we put ourselves before others; we put our own desires ahead of God’s law.

Sin makes relationships difficult. And if they are difficult for adults, who have lots of experience with human interaction, we should remember how difficult they can be for children or teenagers.

Your daughter learns about relationships, early on, directly from her relationship with you. This is when she learns to trust, to build an emotional bond, to not be afraid to engage with others. It’s important that your daughter knows that you love her for who she is, without qualification. If she believes, or realizes, that your approval is based on other criteria—her looks, her grades, her athletic performance—it will build distance between you, because that’s not the totality of your daughter. If she knows there are things about her that you don’t like or won’t accept, she’ll try to hide them—in unhealthy ways. If she’s upset because she’s gained a little weight—and maybe been teased about it at school—and then hears you making snarky comments about overweight people, she’s going to close off some of herself. If your daughter feels rejected, she won’t openly share her thoughts and feelings because she won’t fully trust you.

You see the same dynamic with children whose fathers are overly critical, or who yell a lot, or who are emotionally volatile (often because of alcoholism). Kids walk on eggshells. They can never let down their guard. If the slightest misstep might result in an epic rant (or worse), they’re not likely to open up about their innermost thoughts or feelings.

Acceptance is about unconditional love. It flourishes when a father intentionally sets out to create a home environment where his children can feel safe. How do fathers do this? How can you create a safe home where emotional intimacy is the rule, not the rare exception?

First, find a place, like maybe the swing on the back porch, where your daughter can talk to you without other family members eavesdropping or interrupting.

Second, spend time with your daughter. Lots of it. She needs your presence in her life. Nothing communicates love and acceptance more than your choosing to spend time with her. I realize some jobs require long hours and create special challenges, but if at all possible, connect with her in the morning.

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